My Love Story, Part 1

I know, I know...shame on me, I've become one of "those bloggers"...the type that start a blog and get everyone all excited and then abandon it after a few posts. But, I'm here with a spectacular and fascinating new idea that will knock your flip flops off (if you live anywhere besides Wisconsin, where it is still freezing) and redeem me from the world of blogging drop-outs.

Monday is my FIRST anniversary! Feels like it's been way longer than one year (I mean I have a 3 month old for crying out loud...and yes, it was fast, please don't be the millionth person to point out that fact to me ;). So, from now until Monday, I will take the time to write out how God "wrote my love story", to use the already marketed phrase. But, seriously...it's a cool story. Or at least I think so...

It all began once upon a time in a magical kingdom--Bob Jones University (ok, maybe not magical--but it sounds cooler). I had arrived in the fall of 2005 to begin a bachelor's degree in what would become music education. Armed with my cello, 10 packages of pantyhose (yeah, I was there for those days!), and a homeschool education (thanks, Mom!), I tried to take BJU by storm. I guess this will be a look into me and my growth as much as it is God giving me a love story--they are kind of interchangeable. I knew I couldn't be the prettiest or the coolest or the best cellist at BJU...but maybe I could be the funniest? The craziest? Alas, I never achieved any of those titles either--maybe the one with the most awkward and embarrassing moments? That might fit.

So here I was, an awkward homeschooled freshman. And there was this senior--I knew his name. Everyone knew his name. He was a ladies' man from Denver, CO, who played the euphonium (is that why his lips are so huge??) and it's rumored he doesn't believe in birth control (the result of an unfortunate subject choice for his persuasive speech his freshman year). So, in the midst of 5,000 students, how did this Southern freshman girl with a cello come to meet the dashing, infamous senior Josh Roland??

It all started as most great relationships do--with a cello. Or two. Or maybe a whole choir of them! Yes, in this heavenly setting of 8+ cellos, I met Josh Roland. He decided his senior year to take cello lessons. His teacher, thinking he was the bomb, let him join our cello choir. "Ok, we already sound bad enough--why is this beginner in here???" Those were our thoughts. But, we shrugged it off, and decided to make the best of our situation--after all, he was a good sport about sounding pretty awful.

Take a good look folks--this is our cello choir party. Few have been invited--it's kinda a cool thing.

Ok, so we have that foundation settled. Mind you, we were not anything more than acquaintances. He was cool--I was not. He was popular--the only thing I was famous for was being weird (roommates and classmates from this time period in my life--this is not open for comment!) So that's how I met Josh Roland. We would see each other off and on my next year, as he was a first year grad student. He was always so mature and spiritual--so, knowing me, we didn't really have a ton in common to make us buddies. But that would soon all change in a place that really IS a magical kingdom!

Northland Camp
I guess you could say Northland Camp was like the soil of marriage in which the seeds of our love was planted. Ok, scratch that--I have no idea what that means except that I kind of want a garden right now. Moving on...

I went to Northland as a teen counselor in 2007. Josh had been working there for fifty two summers (ok, more like five). He was a program guy, so we had a fair amount of interaction. Once again, we remained casual friends--I mean, maybe I COULD have developed a crush on him--but he buzzed his hair right before he got to camp! Me, being the shallow, looks-oriented person that I was, could not possibly have been in love with him like THAT.

However, the Lord did a huge work in my life that summer. Through many painful sessions in my now brother-in-law's office, the challenge of counseling girls in a myriad of different sanctification stages (and many who had not started the sanctification process at all!), I discovered for the first time what it is like to have a devotional life with God that is not based on law, but is based on the fact that I NEED Him. I was also discipled for the first time in my life--what a wonderful process! I left that summer to return to BJU a different person. I had also become pals with some people who would remain my best friends (shout-out Kellie and Leila!)

I made the unfortunate decision to go all natural that first summer--no makeup, no hair styling. Please never let me do that again.

So, here I was back at BJU. A junior. Josh was in his last year of grad school. We went to one of the opening evangelistic services together--we had to sit in the dorm counselor section because he had to be available to counsel afterwards. We had an interesting conversation that night. He said to me "Caroline, I just want you to know that I view you like a little sister. I have no romantic feelings for you, but I really do care about you and your growth. I want you to feel free to hang out with me and not feel any pressure that I mean anything besides friendship for our relationship. I don't like you...if I ever did, I'd tell you." (this may or may not be what he said...I didn't know if was going to end up being important!)

Wow, you say. What a weird thing for him to say. I admit, it was kind of strange. But, being the blunt, honest person I am, I appreciated it, and took it for exactly what he meant it. All that year, he was like a big brother to me. His youngest brother, Ben, was a freshman at BJU, so we all kind of hung out together. I felt no qualms about texting him and asking if I could eat dinner with him and Ben, or sit with them during a required event. Eventually, people started seeing us together..."Wow, Josh and Caroline? How do they even know each other? Weird..." When people would start to ask me about it, I would just tell them what he'd told me. "We're just friends--he told me so. He doesn't like me, and I don't like him. It's cool."

I mean, ok, maybe once in a while I'd think he was cute. Other times, he'd show up to dinner in the most atrocious outfit I'd ever see, and I'd seriously consider leaving the dining common so I wouldn't be seen with him (kudos to me, I never left). And so we entered into another summer at Northland Camp. This one was about the same as the other, with maybe a little more interaction. Like all those times when I took competition between the teams a little too seriously...and I'd get in trouble. I can hear it over the loud speaker now "Caroline Lee, please see me after this game!" Humiliating. And there was Josh on the sidelines--shaking his head, but smiling. He somehow was never TOO phased by my immaturity. During all this time, mind you, he and I were NOT dating--we were both interested in other people! (His were a little more promising than mine--I tended to have "crushes" on boys that never like me back--figures.)

I made better appearance choices that summer...but still slightly lacking in the appropriateness and lady-like side of things.

This would be our last few months together, as he had been asked by his brother-in-law, Will Galkin, to travel with him the following year. I, of course, had to return to BJU for my senior year of college. Wow, better make the best of it, cause who knows if we'd ever see each other again...

...and then Will asked ME to travel too. And my parents said ok! What was the Lord trying to do here?...

And check back sometime in the very near future for part 2. :)